Thursday, January 7, 2016

What I Want The Entire Internet to Know About What It's Like To Be Married to a Non-Disabled Person:

This is what it would look like if The Mighty published essays about those of us who live with "non-disability".   It's ridiculous and offensive, but when we do it to disabled people, it's okay? 

I don't think so.   

Here is my "The Mighty" style essay about living with non-disability.:

Image: dark purple background with green round filigree frame.  Green text inside of frame reads: "It must be hard to just do the normal, every day things in your life without inspiring people or giving them the feel goods!"

My spouse isn't disabled, but that doesn't stop him from living his life.  Every day, he is not disabled and he gets up, goes to work, helps out around the house and co-parents our child.  The fact that he doesn't have a disability does not bother my disabled child or myself (who is also disabled).  He goes to work and nobody is inspired by him.  It must be hard to just do the normal, every day things in your life without inspiring people or giving them the feel goods!  

When a disabled person goes to a restaurant and eats a meal alone, you have to constantly be on alert that someone will take your picture or try to join you and then post about how awesome they are on social media. Awareness!  It's so powerful!  My non disabled spouse can go to any restaurant and order food from the menu, sit by himself and not one person will be inspired or "aware" of him.  It must be so hard for him.   But, when you love someone you put up with the fact that they are unable to inspire people for existing or eating food at a place that literally only exists to sell food to people.  

It's sometimes hard on those of us who love him because he just exists and lives his life like a normal person.  When my child and I do the same things, people act like we are shitting rainbows because we're so god damn inspirational.  Not my spouse though!

Nobody accuses him of being "exceptional" or gives him numerous accolades just for occupying the same space as them.  Because my spouse lacks disability, and is an able bodied neurotypical person, the world pretty much caters to him.  He has no need to find creative solutions to the problems encountered by inaccessibility.  He can just go to a place and things just kind of work out for him.   Neat!

It can be hard to live with someone who lacks disability, but we make it work because he has a good attitude about it!  Even though he is non-disabled, he accommodates for it by learning about ableism and not being a colossal fucking asshole to disabled people.   

9 comments:

  1. Freakin' brilliant!
    ❤️ LOVE
    Thank you!

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  2. Can I laugh? I can hear your voice so strongly in this. "It can be hard to live with someone who lacks disability, but we make it work because he has a good attitude about it!" Does he, though? I know the guy. ♡♡

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  3. You're SUCH an inspiration for sharing your life with someone so able. In fact, I'm so moved I am considering a sponsored run run with all proceeds going to research into the causes of non-disability. Together, we can cure non-disability!

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    1. Can I donate? My disabled daughter and I would give anything to help my poor non-disabled husband fit into the family easier. We love him but hate his non-disability.

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  4. Submit this to The Onion stat!

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  5. This is magical. I immediately read it out loud to my spouse.

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  6. Love it; I agree with Kim, submit this to The Onion!!!

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  7. Very funny indeed.

    My wife is non-disabled also so will pass it on.

    Dale.
    http://mydisabilitymatters.com.au

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  8. I never thought of it that way!!! (snickers)

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